I tried going to a Mom & Tot group in a nearby town today. I didn’t really enjoy it. I don’t think they were really My People. But I have a tendency to do that, go somewhere, feel out-of-place because I always do, and then discount an activity when I really should give it a chance. So I might go back. But I might not.
One of the organizers of the group has a 3-year-old daughter (now known as OC “other child”) who took an immediate dislike to B. B was playing with toys and OC was hovering over her, glaring. B looked up and happily handed her the doll she was playing with and said “Here-u-go”. OC slapped the doll out of B’s hand. B just sat there looking stunned and holding her hand. Then a few minutes later B was picking up all the toys and putting them in the bin. OC noticed and came over and every time B put a toy in the bin OC grabbed it and hurled it across the room, glaring at B the whole time. I didn’t say anything to OC because if I had I would have burst into tears. I was tearing up as it was, although I am, admittedly, a little emotional these days (“a little emotional” is an understatement, I teared up at Taylor Swift’s ‘Romeo & Juliet’ on the radio the other day. Seriously. It’s bad.). I didn’t feel it was my place to correct someone else’s child, and I certainly wasn’t comfortable doing so in a room full of people I didn’t know. And no one else noticed what was going on. Instead I just cried on the way home.
If B and OC had been playing and a toddler tiff broke out and OC had slapped her hand, I wouldn’t have been too concerned. But OC was just being deliberately cruel. I know B will have to learn to deal with mean kids at some point, but I don’t think that it’s a requirement when she’s not quite 2 yet. She’s still so innocent* and I don’t want that to be squashed yet. I also don’t want her to learn that type of behaviour herself.
So. I’m going to have to figure out what’s best. Getting out of the house and around other people is good for both of us and it would be nice not to have to drive all the way into the city. But is hanging out with a group of people who I’m not sure I’m comfortable with, and that I’m not particularly thrilled with B being around good for both of us?
*innocent in most ways. We slaughtered our 4 turkeys a few weeks ago and I had to get B up from her nap while we were still processing them. She walked over, looked at the carcasses on the tailgate of the truck, declared “it’s dead” and wandered away to play. It was kind of surprising that she could apply that concept to them, although I’m sure she doesn’t actually comprehend what ‘dead’ means.
It breaks my heart to see Nugget the odd man out when playing with bigger kids. He chases after them so eager to play and they just keep running. That is a rare occasion, but they are the ones that stick out in my mind. So I can completely understand your emotion when witnessing B get treated so poorly by another child. A 3 year old nonetheless! Where do they learn that?!?!